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3/14/2012 10:12:16 AM -
Reason #2 Why Your Internet Fitness "Guru" is Full of Shit

Still counting it down...


He's publishing e-books, articles, or blog posts purporting to be an expert on a sport he's never participated in, coached, or trained anyone for.

Now, if you can get a book published and get paid for it, or if you can publish an e-book and get people to buy it, despite having no particular knowledge of the subject matter, I say, again, more power to you. It's a brilliant heist, and I don't think it's possible to do this in any other industry. You sure as hell can't start publishing specific articles in medical journals about surgical procedures if you're not a physician, so if you can manage to publish articles on major fitness websites about your "MMA expertise" without having ever been within a mile of an MMA fighter, you have my begrudging respect.

You won't, however, get a dime of my money.

Let me save you some time and money. If you buy certain guys' manuals, you're going to be told to box squat, deadlift, and bench press, to do GHR's and reverse hypers, and you're going to push the Prowler a lot at "fight intervals." Also, eat lots of organic food and drink shakes. And don't forget that one piece of utterly groundbreaking (yet completely untested on any sampling of the population) information like "football players shouldn't bench press," remembering, of course, that the guy has neither ever played nor coached the sport. And don't forget the BANDS AND CHAINS.

So, the process would look like this:

1. Parisi Warm-up
2. Westside
3. Push the Prowler
4. Carb Cycle
5. Win the UFC light heavyweight championship

And don't forget to get lots of tattoos and post testimonials from all your trainer friends and one or two obscure dudes who maybe played the sport ten years ago.

Angry Coach

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