|4/13/2012 4:36:19 PM - Clint Darden
I Want To Complain
Well, I try not to complain as much as possible. It will be a small miracle if I actually hit "SAVE" when I finish typing all of this out...but who knows.
I haven't even put a decent 30% effort into my training since about December. Before then it was off and on. It is scary, it has become a trend since the Summer of 2010 when I was in the USA last. I just had other things that I wanted to do besides training.
Recently I had training partners in from England and they come in every Christmas, Easter, and Summer and I'm always excited to be in the gym when they are around. I get to learn, laugh, talk, and I get more excited about their training than they do. My mind just hasn't been in it lately.
My wife and I signed the papers to buy our new house in January of 2010. December 2011 we got to move in. Everything had been "secured" financially...till the last minute. It seems that the "crisis" had decided to be recognized by the people who believed that it would benefit them the most. It drives me INSANE when I hear Americans complaining about how bad it is in the USA, especially when it comes to gas prices, economy, etc... So I'll only let out a little of what has set me into a spin...
The bank approves all of our money. Three weeks before we have to pay the final fees and taxes...the bank decides that they will not give us the loan based on the total price of the house as they had previously agreed. At that point it leaves us having to pay 16% Sales Tax on a house...all out of our own pocket with 3 weeks notice. Roughly we are talking $66,000 in taxes. So, we had some savings and then borrowed about 1/3 of the amount to make the taxes so that we could get the house.
NOW! It is law that on the first house that you buy, all tax paid is returned to you. We weren't so naive as to believe that we would get 100% of the $66,000 back but we were told that we would get near all of it, especially since our house is not in "the city" and it is a "small house".
In January the government "took me" (literally) to a court judge over roughly $3,000 in taxes. I was advised not to pay because if I felt that I did not owe the taxes and I paid them, I'd never get them back. After a few moments in front of the judge, he agreed with me and sent me on my way, everything wiped clean. The very next day my wife calls about our House Tax money, our Dependent tax returns (for my son), and for her Income Tax Returns (she hasn't gotten one since 2005) and she was told "We don't have the money to pay out, everything is on permanent hold."
Did I mention that my wife also works for a government University and hasn't gotten paid since November?
Fast forward till the second week of April, this week, and my wife gets a call from the House Tax people and they are SENDING A CHECK!
We have been freaking excited about getting money for a long LONG time and have made huge dream plans for the Summer. Off to the USA, with family, training, etc... The check arrived Wednesday for $22,000...less than what we borrowed to pay the $66,000 in taxes.
Aside from our entire family being sick for about the last 5 weeks...I just haven't felt like training. It hasn't been anything to get excited about for a few months anyway...I just haven't felt like it. I went to the gym on Sunday...warmed up and that was basically it. Tuesday...same thing then went home. Thursday...I got out of bed, packed my car and ate...and as I went to leave someone had parked right in front of my driveway and went off and left their car there...for HOURS and nobody knew where they went.
Hour and a half later...they came back with a huge garage-moving fork lift type thingy which blocked the entire street for another hour. I didn't get to the gym Thursday...I'd already passed my pissed stage by then so I was worthless.
Friday I wake up and decide that turning my alarm off was better than hitting snooze. Gym skipped again. My son and dog were already in bed with me anyway...no plans since we have 2 weeks vacation for Easter.
I actually broke down pretty far and sent Dave Tate an email a couple of days ago, asking some of his thoughts (he didn't know my situation, just that I'm down and things are not going in the right direction for me). He asked what makes things "right" for me, which was an easy question. When I give, I get in return. He suggested that I start giving and giving fast. Knowing that I'm working on several e-books we discussed me writing my first one and including it FREE with every purchase at www.EliteFTS.com and he shot back and said "You write it and we will make it work at EliteFTS.com. You need to give, you need to make a difference to get out of your "funk". We can sell it for next to peanuts and you can give 100% of the money to the charity of your choice." Heck, if it doesn't bring some sunshine to my day, hopefully it will to others.
So it is officially Saturday morning, 12:50 AM. Will I train tomorrow...Saturday morning/afternoon?
I have no idea. A large part of me is sad for several reasons that I can't explain. Inside I'm just torn in so many different directions. Me having a good day outside of the gym is so often dependent on how my day inside the gym went. My wife knows that I'm not being rude when I wake up on a training day and I don't speak to anyone and just head out the door to my car, because she knows that if it goes well I'll be back and not only will I be in a great mood, I'll also be Super Dad, Super Husband, and I'll be the softest guy a wife could dream for. But the last few weeks, I've not felt like preparing for the gym in my off time which leads to not being productive in the gym, which leads to not being all the Super Things that I need to be once I leave the gym. It is a circle that I can't seem to break for more than a few hours or a couple of meals at a time.
To some of you, none of that will make any sense. To some of you, it will make perfect sense.
So what will I do on Saturday? I really don't know. It's possible that I'll spend another day with my son, wife, dog, and the TV but it is also that I'll get to the gym and strike a match in just such a way that a fire starts and I'll do something great. Either way...I'll do my best to step one foot at a time and maybe most important...stop my complaining after I've got it off of my chest.
No matter what your belief system is, I could use whatever you feel fit to give. A prayer, a kind thought, a swift kick in the tail. If you have a free moment and you can't find someone who needs it a heck of a lot more than I do...I'd appreciate it.