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5/6/2013 3:11:15 PM -
Weekend happenings and a day of trainng.

I had a really busy weekend this past weekend. Which is usually a good thing except I am under the weather with what looks like the same goopy eye thing that made Ray Charles go blind in the movie “Ray”. Everywhere I went people looked at me and did a double take and said “Jesus dude what the fuck is wrong with your eyes?”

Saturday we trekked out to Lancaster PA to help Zelyx and a couple other Iron Sport lifters at the East Coast Gold Open Olympic lifting meet. This year the meet was hosted at Crossfit Collective which was a very impressive facility, but importantly they had a grill outside going with $2 cheeseburgers! All of our lifters did very well and they even asked me to hand out the awards for the women’s session. So at least I got to hug and fondle all the chicks that were there, that was worth the drive in itself!

That night we had a small gathering of a few lifters over to our house. I decided to drown my goopy eye sorrows by drinking five livers worth of 100 proof whiskey and getting so shit-faced I could barely stand. Thankfully Zelyx drank even more than me so I wasn’t shit-faced alone. The reason I knew she was way over the top drunk was because I have a blurry memory of taking my shoes off and everyone just being completely grossed out at how messed up my foot was with this still scabby scar from my latest surgery. Zelyx just grabs my foot and ays in her Puerto Rican/American accent “Ees not so bad!” and then proceeds to lick my disgusting, mangled foot! Now she is either the craziest person alive or THE GREATEST CHICK EVER! Either way I totally love that nut!

On Sunday Iron Sport hosted a strongman skills clinic that went really well. We had four highly experienced coaches, myself, Kirk Nowack, Maya Winters and Jimmy Dart and we ran our groups through a bunch of strongman events. We then set up a challenging medley to give them an idea of what a real contest situation would feel like then kicked their asses through the medley. I would like to thank all the folks that attended and a special HUGE thank you to my coaches Maya, Kirk and Jimmy as well as Katie and Brian Feeley who busted their butts helping all day.


I got a chance to quickly train today between clients and errands and it looked something like this:

Press behind neck: worked up to 6 sets of 6 (because its one better than 5x5) then dropped down to 2 sets of 20
Superset- dumbbell side raise with band pull-a-parts: 4 sets
Rear delt burns on machine: 3 sets
Heavy dumbbell curls: 5 sets
Heavy barbell reverse curls: 5 sets

This morning some bozo called us up here at the gym and declared he wanted to be a professional bodybuilder. Now I use the word “Bozo” because this guy clearly had no idea what bodybuilding even was and was not even close to the concept that is took to be at the top of that sport. So in order to find out if he was serious about choosing a life as a pro bodybuilder I asked him the following questions.
Are you willing to . . . .
Quit your job?
Justify doing gay for pay by thinking it’s furthering your future bodybuilding career by allowing you not to have a real job?
Carry at least a full gallon jug of water everywhere you go? Including weddings, funerals and bouncer job interviews.
Make all your clothes . . . out of other clothes?
Shave all unwanted and wanted hair off of yourself?
Be mocked and pointed at by strangers everywhere you go?
Keep yourself a totally unnatural shade of orange all year long?
Eat only five or different six foods in massive quantities at odd hours?
Ingest more pharmaceuticals than a laboratory animal?
Wear a fanny pack packed with cans of tuna, a can opener and anabolic steroids everywhere you go?
Worry about going catabolic from walking more than one block?
Worry more about getting your butt cheeks vascular than getting a job . . . or laid?
Justify losing every contest you enter by saying “it’s all politics” rather than taking a real long look at your shitty physique?

If you answer “No” to one or more of these questions you are clearly not ready to go pro.

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